August Update - A Season of Struggle - Part 1
I think it was easier for me to focus on blogging and sharing my feelings before I was working. With my job I sit at the computer inside the RV minimum of 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. Which isn't bad! Like a 6 hour work day! I'm not complaining. But, my personal opinion for myself and my health is that it's not good to just sit all day. Most of the time I sit for 7 or 8 hours. Because of this I have noticed a change in my muscle tone, my back becoming weaker, and neck aching more frequently. I also have to remember that the point of blogging, sharing, and social media was to help me. It was/is a form of therapy. Coming to that realization I am taking the pressure off of myself to feel like I have to write something every week. Now, I will write when my soul calls for it.
I am trying to find balance by standing frequently, walking 6,000 steps (at least) a day, stretching daily, and still chugging my gallon of water a day. It's all about balance. Anyways lets go through some life updates. Get ready...it's not going to be as positive as it should.
It's a season of struggle.
Let's get the easy stuff out of the way.
Work - I LOVE what I do! I work for ByteStand as the one and only Help Desk Guru. We are SLAMMED. Our business is booming and it's not going to stop any time soon. I spend M-F on chats, emails, video calls, and phone calls assisting humans from all over the world! I also will receive 5% profit sharing at the end of the year so I focus on marketing, sales, and branding. My boss respects me, is interested in Gregory and I's adventures, pays me very well, doesn't micro-manage, and I feel like a partner...and not just an employee. I love it! Along with the positive comes the stress. We have good growing pains...but they are still growing pains. I'm extremely busy and starting to find it difficult to get to every customer. Of course I want to do a great job and I take pride in what I do so I make it more stressful than it needs to be probably. But, I am determined to be successful and help our company be successful.
Gregory & I - Thank god we have each other. I am not sure if I could do this life with another human being. I don't know how he puts up with me sometimes. Especially the past 2 weeks I feel that I have been cranky, irritable, impossible to please, and emotional. And he has just held me while I cried, made me laugh, let me take my naps, listened to my feedback, and the list goes on and on. Of course he has his moments too...but lately I think I've been the bigger turd. I let him know that and how much I appreciate him. Which I do baby. I am so lucky to have you as my best friend, travel partner, life partner, dinner partner, and all of the above.
Health - Struggling here which has a large amount to do with my attitude and emotions this week. I am currently battling another bladder infection. Which is actually not an infection. If you read my blog about 9 months ago you are familiar with this condition. Interstitial Cytitus. Which is spelled wrong but I am not going to google it right now cause I'll get distracted. So, that's uncomfortable and miserable for about a week. I'm trying to stay off of antibiotics and western medicine. So, going the natural route which takes longer. Gregory had his own little procedure this week while in Oregon. He is healing well and handled it like a champ. I am so proud of him. But, that was a stressful experience for us to go through together. Send him some healing thoughts! All is well but it was a tough experience.
RV & Traveling - You guys. I'm struggling. This is where I am struggling! It makes me sad to type this. I hope this is just a phase...I really do. Travel, RVing, exploring, camping....this is my thing...like this is my identity now. Living tiny, building a travel community, carrying our roots with us. But, I am struggling with it. It feels like everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. Which, okay. That's dramatic. Because it could be a lot worse. But, it's my blog and my world on my blog. So, indulge me. Told you I was being a turd.
Remember in June we went through the issues with replacing the brakes, caps on the hubs, working on tires, and bumpers on the rig in California? Well, this month we are having issues with our levelers giving us fits, our living room slide out not wanting to come in and now something is wrong with the engine. We have a Chevy Work Horse Engine which apparently is a decent engine but not just anyone will work on this type of engine. We have attempted to fix everything ourselves, unfortunately we have failed at fixing some things. Like the engine. And at some point your priorities naturally change. You are either going to sacrifice time, sanity, or money. Well we have been sacrificing our time and sanity and that's not working. So, we decided while we were in the Mt. Hood Thousand Trails park we would schedule an appointment at a mechanic. That would actually look at the type of motor we have. I don't know if you have ever tried to find a RV mechanic...and then narrowed your search down to a RV mechanic that worked on big rigs, and then big rig engines, and then work horse engines. But, it's not that many.
To speed up my story, we found a guy. We left for the maintenance shop the night before and slept in the parking lot. We are still working of course so we had to finish working on a Thursday, fight the Portland traffic, pull into this cramped parking lot in the dark and get parked, listen to the nightly activity of the next door gas station all night, wake up early and work, and then leave the RV on our lunch break so the mechanic could drive our home and try to recreate the issue.
I am leaving out a lot of the little details. So some of this may not make sense but if I don't cut some drama out this is going to turn into a book. We are still in Oregon and thank goodness Gregory has some hidden gems that are friends, that have helped us a lot. One couple invited us to their home since they were out of town. They let us stay at their home on Friday while the rig was getting worked on. I brought Charlie, we could work, had internet, and air conditioning. So super amazing. But, on the ride between leaving our pain in the ass home/RV and trying to get to their home I had a mental break down. I currently have a love/hate relationship with our home. I love it because it's our home. It allows us to live our 'dream life.' It takes us across mountains, valleys, and highways. We've put so much love and character into our home. But, at the same time it is the main cause of our pain. Between the age of the rig, the maintenance issues, the accidents on the rode, and things breaking while driving...sometimes it makes you want to just drive it into the ocean.
I tell myself it would be the same thing with a new rig. I hear about other full timers having the same issues and their rigs are 10 years younger than ours! It's the same thing with a stick and brick home. It's just life. I know. I know. But, I think it's human nature to start second guessing things when it is just one struggle after the next.
I wonder if the Universe trying to see what we can handle? Are we being tested or maybe trained to handle more and more? Is the Universe trying to make us stronger? Or is this a sign? Is this the Universe saying, 'Hey, I am putting these barriers in your way for a reason...maybe you should try a different direction?' I don't know what the reason or answer is. I just know I'm mentally struggling to handle everything that is being thrown at us.
Back to the maintenance update...the maintenance guy feels that there is 'something' minor wrong with the engine but he doesn't know what. The only option would be to start replacing parts that 'could' be the issue. Which cost a lot of money. For guessing. So, we opted out of that, paid him for his time, and grabbed our home. Which made me dislike it even more. I asked Gregory, 'So what do we do now. We know SOMETHING is wrong. What do we do, just wait till the engine explodes on the side of the highway? Not a bad idea, at least we would know what to fix.'
Damn, like...what a smart ass thing to say to your partner that is also struggling. He doesn't have the answers. I don't know what I expected from him in the moment. I just felt frustrated and trapped. I really wanted to take my frustration out on the rig...but knew I couldn't hurt the RV's feelings so I took it out on Gregory. Which is wrong. And this is one reason why he is so good. He just hugged me. And loved me. Let me be a turd. He understood and gave me grace. I am so thankful for that.
We are currently parked in a different set of friends driveway. Like wow, this week people came out of the woodwork to help us. Thank you to everyone, if you are the ones reading this. Who offered us your homes, your yards, your driveways, and your time. Saying all of that our current plan is to stay in the friends driveway until Sunday afternoon and then continue on our journey until 1. We figure out the EXACT issue of the engine and put the rig back in the shop to be fixed. Or 2. We break down on the side of the road and then sell it for parts. Kidding...kind of.
Sending you love and light. Thanks for reading. Part 2 to come! Which will have a positive spin towards the end and some exciting news!
Comments
Post a Comment