The show must go on! 03/20/19

Just wanted to update everyone. I have not started driving home nor do I plan on it soon. I just felt the urge to put that out there fairly quick. Ha! I had a rough 2 days. I will describe it as shock. Do you remember as a kid (or adult) when you would get a new fish and you couldn't just throw it into the pond or fish tank? You had to keep it in its water bag and drop the whole bag in the new water so the fish wouldn't go into 'shock.' Or is this just something that my dad would tell us to teach us patience? I am very fond of this memory because my dad loves and loved his koi pond and as kids we would be so excited to go to the fish store, pick out a fish that looked like the 'Steelers' logo, and bring it home so we could name it and watch our dads koi pond grow. Then, we would get home and he would slowly ease the bag in the water and just watch it. Meanwhile, us as kids wanted to open the bag, put the fish in our hands, and then throw him into this new home so he could meet his new friends! Dad would explain about the difference of water temperatures and the risk of 'shock' if we did that and that it takes time for the fish to feel at home again. Of course, we would sit around the pond for 2 minutes and watch but then quickly lose interest and take off to go play with our friends. But, dad was right. He did this every time and every time the fish successfully made the pond its home. Of course until the big stork would migrate south for the winter and find his dinner in our pond. Which was fun cause we got to run outside the and yell and scare the bird off with dad. Boy would he get angry and that 'damn' bird. We also didn't know how much these fish cost...

I felt like that fish a few days ago. I felt like I had been in this constant & predictable luke-warm water. I had everything figured out, I was in charge, in control, and I knew what to expect. Then, all of the sudden I was standing at the airport with people all around me but feeling utterly alone. Everything that I had known for 35 days just changed and now I had to deal with ambiguity, taking care of everything myself again, the unknown, and the uncertainty. Like wow, take a second wherever you are and just say that third sentence in your head for 2 minutes over and over and tell me your heart doesn't start to race just a little bit. That is how it was for 2 days, constant second guessing and talking down to myself. It took 2 days of crying for me to get sick of myself and say WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

You left the only career you ever knew! You sold a home you loved! You got rid of cars! You temporarily left your family, some friends, and a new relationship! You gave away all your clothes and boxed up your prized possessions! You have already completed the hardest part! YOU JUMPED. And did you come crumbling down? No, you flew. You flew because you are not going to fail, you will not fail, and you have no other option but to succeed. So indulge in your self pity for 10 more minutes and then go outside, look at the sky, breathe in the fresh air, listen to the birds, and be thankful for your health, your mind, and your ability to find your dream!

So...when I gave myself this talk. I had to pretend that I was giving advice to a younger female. Like, if I saw a girl having these same issues, what would I tell her, as a stranger. When I figured out what I would say to her, I said it to myself. That is something that Tiffany* taught me at the beginning of my journey. If you are unsure who Tiffany* is you can read about her in Arizona: The Land of Ambitious Women. Tiffany* pointed out that I was "patient and kind with strangers but not to Self. Speak to Self as if you are a stranger. Since you are nicer to them anyways." She may not have said it JUST like that but you get the point. That stuck with me. So, when I get in a sticky situation when I can't get out of my own head I say, "What advice would I give to a stranger right now?" I role play that in my head and then I say it to myself, a couple times if I need to...just to get the point across.

So, the next time you feel yourself struggling and you can't get out of your own way so you can be happy and successful (in whatever you are doing) try speaking to Self as you would to your daughter, your best friend, your mother, your co-worker, your gym partner, or sister. Give Self the grace, patience, love, and kindness you give to others and I promise you will be able to wipe your tears, hold your head up, and march into your day with love and positive intention!

Much Love!

BONUS! ( I crack myself up! ) I am writing to you from the below location... I haven't had service for the past 7 days so I either have to drive 30 minutes out of a state park to get service or...in my new place I can just walk to the 'pavilion' and they have wifi with electric! But, no chairs...so I got the blood flowing this morning!

I am staying at Manatee Springs State Park where yes, you can really swim with Manatees. But, do not touch them, it is illegal. I found this location on Reserve America and got one of the last spots! Sites have water and electric and are spacious! The park is full of wild life and man is it friendly! The deer eat the grass right under your awning, the squirrels sit beside you at the pavilion and the manatees aren't shy about swimming past you! I had two goals when I entered this park. 1. Volunteer. 2. Talk to strangers. Well, I have tried twice to volunteer but it sounds like one lady is in charge of the volunteer program and she only works select days...so I just pick up trash and cans while I'm wondering around :insert crying laugh face here: I'll do it at the next park! But! I do have good news! I have talked to 11 strangers! Woo Hoo! Most were very friendly and we probably spent at least an hour each talking so I would call that a major success! My neighbors even let me borrow their snorkeling gear for my trip to Devils Den! Check it out! For more info on Devils in visit my Facebook page Keeping Up With Cara Ostara.