The Notice 11/22/18

It's funny how time flies when you are turning your life upside down. A lot has happened since the last time I was able to sit down and type out my emotions and thoughts. Time for a recap of last weeks episode on Ostara's Adventure! 

My family is starting to come around to the idea of me starting this new journey. Maybe I shouldn't say they have turned around...but they have figured out that this is happening. At this point you're either helping me or hurting me. They are helping me! They spent an entire weekend at my home helping sell items, clean, and organize the house. Even Kay, one of my many grandma's drove from Clarkson to spend the weekend with me and the rest of the family! Last weekend was over whelming! At this point every day is overwhelming. I have to take the days an hour at a time and what is interesting is that at the end of the day I think, 'Now that wasn't so bad, the day flew by! I need more time.' or you think to your self, ' Am I really making the right decision? Maybe I just need to learn how to manage my stress and anxiety levels. Then I could keep doing this for a couple of more years.' Those are dangerous thoughts so it is good that I am extremely busy and do not have enough time in my head. They say that most people let 'Fear' run their lives, help make decisions, and hold people back. I have to remember that I was brought down this path for a reason and I need to stay on the path. I need to focus on the big picture and keep moving forward. At this point I have done the following.

• Made over $900 by selling used clothes, shoes, accessories on Mercari (an app), Facebook, and in person.
• All photography items have made it to Elmer's.
• I listed my home and received an offer on it. The Inspection is this Monday the 19th. Fingers crossed that they don't nit pick everything. 
• Got the Ford Escape to a mechanic to look at it...after a $80 charge. Plus $90 for them to even look at it. We will see what they say! Hopefully it is not to bad and I can get it running 
• Fixed the front porch! Cost $200...let's hope that is good enough! 
• I've drove a camper! On the highway. I was so nervous at first but with in a few moments I got the hang of it and I felt pretty confident. Just a few months ago I thought I wanted a pull behind travel trailer but now that I have drove a camper...lets just say a camper is an option now. There is something about driving your home and the security of it. Plus, you can run the AC for the dogs when I am out exploring. 
• Went to the doctor. They believe I had a cyst the burst and they know I have a 3 cm cyst on my left ovary. I have a stomach dr appointment scheduled for December 3rd. Still having issues. 
• I put in my 2 weeks notice on Friday the 16th. It was difficult and I got myself worked up before I told them. When I went in the room I had to put on my poker face and hide my emotions. The following week proved to be just as difficult. To date I have informed 8 individuals that I am leaving Amazon. 4 out of the 8 confided in me that they also have exit plans, some as early as 6 months and others at 12 months. That is a 50% rate of attrition! And to tell you the truth I can't wait to stop thinking like this! ha. Some of you that have read this may have worked for Amazon or still do. Just think of all the action items you would have to create in order to keep that 50% of AA's. Or just get on a 4x4 call and ramble off all the things 'you're going to do' to improve your attrition rate. Give me a break. These are salary leaders making over 80k base pay alone. Not including their stock. Every one of these leaders had something in common, they were tired of sacrificing their personal health and family for the money.

2 days after I gave my notice to Amazon things changed for me. I almost felt like I wasn't in my body. I was just watching things happen around me at work. All the sudden I was struggling to find things to do but had no urge to find anything to do. Tasks became easy, my e-mail stayed empty, and phone calls were just phone calls and not something to get worked up about. On Wednesday I actually started googling RV Campgrounds in Key West...for an hour. Then I left at 3:30 PM to go look at the same RV with my father. The feeling is so weird, it just feels like things are happening around me. I am not exactly proud of my time off task at work but I'm also not going to lose sleep over it. I will tell you one productive thing I have completed since I gave my notice. The conversations I have had with co-workers concerning me quitting have seemed to help them! It is amazing the things you can find out when you just sit down and keep your mouth shut. During this process I am learning that people just want to connect with other people. I have a challenge for you. After reading this page I want you to try something. Tomorrow I want you to say less and listen more.  Take the time to slow down, engage in a genuine conversation, and open your mind. The reward of watching someone else express their feelings, share their fears, and release their anxiety is so much more enjoyable than constantly thinking about what you are going to say next. Be selfless, think of probing questions to ask the individuals, reassure them, and stop yourself from being judgmental. Sometimes the best gift is giving your time and your insight. I live by the quote, 'People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.' Time is valuable and when we take the time to connect it is a beautiful thing that leaves everyone feeling better.  :)