The price you pay...cleaning out the bedroom 10/28/18

Today was a day of...getting in the groove. Kick starting my way into my lifestyle change. Turning over a new leaf. Starting fresh. A day of first. Okay...who am I kidding? I'm not going to sell you something that this is not. I woke up early this morning, I consider 8:30 AM early on the weekend. I woke up early because I went to bed early and got 8 hours of sleep! Of course I still didn't want to get up. 4 alarms later and a dog scratching at my bed room door I was up, coffee beside me, updating my blog, and then some how running late for Hot Yoga. I waited until the last 3 minutes before I had to leave to get ready. I was going to my first class after 2+ months off! I made it just in time to find a good spot in the studio. It's always awkward when you come in 'on time' which would be one the class says its starts. In reality you always want to get to the class 10 minutes ahead of time, that way you are guaranteed to have a spot and not have to awkwardly lay your mat on top of someone or ask someone to scoot over. It felt good to be back in class but my body has already changed in the time that I have not been there. There were moments of frustration, disappointment, and negative thoughts during the class when I was unable to stretch as far as I could months ago or when I looked at the super thing girl to my left or right. As soon as the thoughts would enter my head I would push them back out and distract myself with all the things I had to do in order to get ready for this new chapter. I will get back in the condition that I would like to soon enough, it takes time. If you are struggling with body image, physical issues, confidence. Give yourself grace. Speak to self as a stranger. If you wouldn't say it to a stranger, don't say it to yourself. Which brings me back to the beginning of this entry which is I am not going to sell you something that this is not. I was not trying to start a new leaf or channel my inner Yogi. I returned to Yoga because I want to get rid of this bloat in my stomach, hip dips, puffy face, and stress. I can feel the change in my body, I feel my rings tighten around my fingers, belly bloat hang over my pants when I sit or struggle to button those pants all the way. Now I just said speak to self as a stranger. Do that! Do as I say, not as I do. I feel that what I just said about my physical wellbeing is correct and I am not emotional about it. I know that your body reacts to stress, lack of sleep, & poor diet by doing the things that my body is doing. And I know I can change it with a couple weeks of Hot Yoga. It is, what it is. I have enjoyed no exercise and a nasty diet the past 2 months. :) Now, when it comes to getting enough sleep, I don't think I actively made this decision. So, I don't get bonus points for that. But, I do get points for something else today! I cleaned out my bedroom! Okay, it is almost clean. The pictures in this entry are proof of the $120 of storage I purchased and all the items I am purging! 

I have totes for:

• The photo company which will go to Elmer's
• Business Cards
• Dresses 
• Costume Jewelry, purses, shoes
• Items going into the camper/RV
• Shirts, dresses, fannypacks
• Small decorations that family has purchased over me for the years
• Camera & accessories 
• Books and personal photos
• Items going into storage which will go to Elmer's 
• Good shoes, boots, heels
• Good Sweaters, winter items, ball gowns 
• Larger photos, art work, larger decorations 
• Goodwill
• Cheap jewelry, shoes, Amazon shirts
• Board game, belts, trinkets, boxes
• Trash 

I also have a tote or two... probably will end up being 3 totes of items that I have for sell online. The items are to nice to give away or throw away so why not try to make a little bit of money. Especially if I plan on not having a job for a year, I need all the dollars I can get! The plan is to store the items in the bins so I can still take photos of the house and get it listed! Then, when I sell an item I can just get it out of a bin and ship it. If you studied the photos or if you are just really good at noticing things...you may have noticed a person in the photos. Thats Tenicia. Tenicia and I have been apart of each others lives since early 2010. We met at Zappos at the 6PM.com Outlet. When it was called that.  Tenicia was a supervisor at that time, I believe. She will read this and correct me. I was an Outlet Team Member. After just a few months of working together she responded to a Facebook post I created where I was asking if anyone wanted to go to New Orleans for a long weekend. I had a free plane ticket and enough money to get a hotel and liquor. Tenicia was another single female that I looked up to for her stability, independence, and confidence. We didn't know each other well but we had enough in common and we decided that we were either really going to regret this trip or we would be best friends afterwards. Fast forward to now and guess what? We are still best friends. She volunteered her time on this day and spent hours helping me take photos of shoes, earrings, rings, purses, belts, the list goes on and on. She then posted everything on the internet and she sold 2 things within an hour! This task would have taken me a week to complete! While she took photos and posted I focused on organizing, throwing away, and packing. Tenicia also had to listen to my emotions pour out of my mouth for hours. Occasionally, I would give her a chance to share some advice, agree/disagree, or update me on her life. Occasionally...I will own that, sorry Tyra. lol It wasn't much of a two-way conversation. That's what friendships and relationships are about though, give and take. We talked a lot about give and take on this day. I am thankful for her willingness to listen to my emotions and her ability to stay neutral to the situations I share with her. She is very thorough, thoughtful, and open when you present one side of a story or situation. So, I know when she agrees with me...I did the right thing and she's not just saying it to make me feel better. You need people like that. She'll probably disagree with 40% of the way I feel about her but I am right on this! 

I will write more in the future about Tenicia and other important people in my life but this was a good introduction for her. I am very grateful for her patience, work ethic, and commitment. I could not have completed this night without her! Now, time for some sleep so I can work on another room tomorrow! 

One more thing before I go to bed. When you purge your home you are not ready for all of the emotions that hit you. Even though I am still in my own home, my room does not feel like mine. The walls are bare, the end tables have only lamps sitting on them, and no personal belongings can be seen. I feel like a foreigner in my room. I wonder why this is. Are we so attached to things that they control or effect our emotions? This tells me that I will have to personalize my camper/rv. It could just be my personality or preference. I think that the things I physically collect have memories attached to them which evokes emotion. My items give me a sense of security. It's hard to see my memories shoved in plastic bins. I think something like that is good to share and document. This process is bitter sweet and challenging. You can question your decision and doubt yourself.

If after all of that...you still go through with what ever change you are making in your life...It was meant to be.