Project: Closet Purge 10/27/18

This Saturday I am sitting in bed with both of my beautiful Great Danes. I had to pick Chibi up and help her climb on the bed while Charlie ran around the bed in circles trying to knock us both over. They are both as close to me as they can get and also touching me.  Have coffee to the left of my king size bed and 3 other people sleeping in my king size house. Of course, Cassi my youngest sister and her friends. Oh, how things are going to change. With less space, less things. less Amazon, less material comforts. This week...yes it took me a week; I cleaned out my closet, shoes, jeans, purses, bathing suits, etc. All items are now folded in organized piles on the couch in my bedroom. The plan is to sell or get rid of every single item. I had my first customer on Thursday! My mother. Friday was the big day though! I sold $181 worth of clothes! 3 Pairs of shoes, 4 jeans, a Kate Spade purse, and too many shirts/sweaters to count. This was a major accomplishment and actually proved to me that this is possible. In my mind I never thought that I would actually get people to come to my house, look through my things, and pay decent prices but that is now totally possible.  I sold at a least 30 pounds of clothes yesterday. Here is the other thing. I didn't realize that it would be difficult to watch other people go through 'my things.' They are just things, right? Plus, they were things I needed, no, wanted to get rid of. I invited these people into my home and encouraged them to go through everything. At moments you do feel sadness or regret. 'Do I really want to do this? Look how empty my closet is now, isn't that sad? I've had those pair of jeans since I was 21! Wow, I had a lot of good memories in that shirt. I guess I only wore that one once in 4 years. I can't believe she doesn't like that sweater, I paid full price for that. What am I going to wear in this new life? Did that dress look at good on me, maybe I want it back. I don't think I know what I am doing, this is crazy. I should just stop and hang everything back up.' It goes on and on. That must only be natural when you are going through a major life change. This is a journey that you have to control. You have to control your frame of mind, find the positive, stay in the positive, stay on your path, and remember the purpose of all of this. I think that this is the hard part. I am consciously making a decision to turn my life upside down. I am the only one making these decisions. If I fail, it is all on me. But, when I succeed it is all on me. There are so many things that I would like completed before I start my next chapter. Reference my to do list on my last entry. This isn't something that I will just fall asleep and wake up and be in the next chapter. I could have done that because some parts of that tactic would have been easier. I wouldn't have time to think about anything, just walk in, quit my job, and boom time to just figure it out! I would have more time on my hands and it would have only taken me a day to get my stuff ready to sell rather than a week. But, I want to be fully prepared on Day 1 so I know I fully utilized my 365 days. I would rather sleep less now in this chapter of my life and continue to work, purge my home, sell my home,  sell my cars, purchase a travel 'home', figure out what I am doing in December, buy health insurance, etc then start my Day 1 still having to do all of those things and spending my first month still trying to clean up my last chapter.

Today I am going back to Hot Yoga...leaving the house in 18 minutes. My stomach still isn't 100% and I still have a UTI. Which I think is all trigged by stress and anxiety. But, I cannot continue to let those things keep me from doing something that I enjoy. I feel better when I am fully submersed in Hot Yoga and I get addicted when I start to see my body change for the better. I haven't been for at least 2 months and I have definitely felt slower, more bloated, less energy, and just not as well rounded. It really is a magical type of activity, hard, but worth it. Then, I will go purchase some plastic Tupperware's and start boxing up the house so I can start taking pictures for my Real Estate agent and get this house on the market!

Thanks for listening!
Ostara*