Are these comments necessary? 12/27/18
Statements like the above are similar to the one thing I hear most when I share with people what I am doing. Think about that.
A human is following their passion to self explore and experience different atmospheres, landscapes, and events across the United States and we all have the urge to say 'Don't do anything stupid and talk to a stranger or invite them to sit under your awning at a campsite. Don't stay in a Walmart parking lot, don't ask anyone for directions, don't go on a hike in a National Park by yourself, carry mace with you, carry a gun with you!, don't let people know you are alone, stay in well lit places, put your car keys between your fingers when you are walking, don't smile, and whatever you do don't leave the country!'
I have heard all of these things. I wonder how some of us in the world even manage to walk out of our homes because of the dangers that lie outside of our doors. Listen, I agree that things could happen and things do happen. I have been trained from the time I was a small girl to always walk with my head up, walk with a purpose, keep eye contact, remember what color shirt he was wearing when he walked past you, check the bathroom stalls to ensure they are empty, lock your car as soon as the door shuts, the list goes on and on. It is a shame that we have to do this.
I have listened to two of these statements, today alone. One conversation was held over the phone and one was in person...with a complete stranger I might add! The strangers name is Michael. You may ask, "What? You talked to the stranger?! How did you survive?" Well, let me just tell you. I was sitting on my porch listing things to sell on Facebook Market place. (very exotic, I know) I was outside because it was about 45 degrees and gloomy which is the best weather we can get right now and I needed some fresh air. Plus, my front porch with my rocking chair is my favorite place! Well, the stranger was walking his dog which in turn excited my dogs which made them bark hysterically to the point that I had to shut the front door so they couldn't see. They must have been jealous because the strangers dog was so well behaved he wasn't even on a leash...must be nice. So, I said something funny to the stranger to make up for my unruly animals and he said something funny back and we smiled. Then, his dog took a shit in my yard right in front of us! The audacity. Now...here is when it gets scary. The stranger then asked if I had any bags that he could use to pick up the dog shit. What should I do? Do I go inside my home to get the bag and pray this stranger doesn't follow me in? Do I tell him to screw off? Do I invite him in for some coffee? Oh gsh...how have I made it through 28 years of life!
Ofcourse, I told him he could have a bag, I walked in my home, shut the main door a little, grabbed a bag, and walked back outside and handed him the bag. Now that this moment of tension was over the stranger earned one star for being trustworthy. This is when I learned his name is Michael, he is 60 years old, (even though he looks like he could be 45) he has daughters and a wife, they live down the street, he got his dog from a farmer, he works at Ford, he is a Christian, he has 'talks' with all his daughters boyfriends, he doesn't like big dogs, (like mine) oh and he spent time in prison. 4 years exactly and that happened in the 80's which was good because he had plenty of time to get his life straightened out and back on track!
Now at this point some of you are going, 'Oh my word Cara, you talked to a stranger on the street that was in prison, have we not taught you anything?' Insert eye roll here. I have decided to judge individuals off of their current character and actions and not condemn them for their past or stories that others tell about them. I thought it was very refreshing that he opened up about so much in our 10 minute conversation, he had no shame, and was not apologetic. Michael is who he is and I can respect that. For this Michael gets another gold star for honesty! I shared a little bit about my next journey and he was very excited for me. He thought it was very 'cool' that I had found my peace and the strength to make this decision and do it on my own. That I had left corporate America and that I was going to explore the states! This is the time in the conversation that others compare or relate me to their daughters. Sorry (not sorry) guys...but typically you all are the ones that start in about the dangers of the world. It is almost like people obsess over what could go wrong and they indulge in thinking about all the awful things that 'could' happen. What is wrong with you? Snap out of it! It's okay with being realistic but we don't have to go to Texas Chain Saw massacre level. This is when Michael proceeded to inform me of two female travelers that were just beheaded on camera in Morocco. He had just seen this on the news and the second I told him what I was planning to do he thought of this new story. Think about that. Why are we programmed to automatically think negative, worry, or doubt? Well, if it happened to them, it's going to happen to you! Here is a statement he made that hit a nerve.
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"What were they even doing hiking in a different country alone in the first place?"
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Okay, before I get to 'dark' let's move on. We get the point. Michael and I continued talking for a few more moments and then I politely excused myself from the conversation when he just couldn't let go how unsafe the world is. I wished them the best on their walk and he wished me the best on my journey and we parted ways. I respect Michael and all of the people in my life that I have had this conversation with and even those that I have had not had this conversation with. I know that it comes from a place of love, support, and concern and I appreciate it. My only ask is that all of us heighten our awareness and identify when we start putting doubts or fears into others. Think: Are these comments necessary?
Or are you just eluding to your fears?
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