The week of last and first 12/04/18

In this blog I will share my adventure, pictures, and all the positives. Saying that, I feel that I would be selling a fantasy or hiding all of the truth if I did not include the downfalls. The journey will not be easy and it is not meant to be easy. If this was easy than everyone would do it. And I am not here to sell you some grand story that will be smooth and have no bumps in the road. So, I hope you understand when I share sensitive or emotional stories and that you respect my honesty and most of all my intention. I have found that when you search the internet about turning your life upside down, watch YouTube videos, listen to Ted Talks, search Google, etc you only find one layer of the story. All resources share the glam and glitz of starting your new life. All you have to do is quit your job, sell your house, sell your things, get a map, and go! Woo Hoo, it is that easy! Don't worry about what your taxes will look like next year, don't worry about health insurance while you're traveling, don't worry about budgeting, don't worry about home inspections, just go. Well, let me tell you...I'm going to share the truth about all those things I just mentioned. Sometimes, it is not going to be pretty and it is going be a challenge but if I can make it though this then it will be just another thing conquered! 

My last day at work was Friday November 30th. It was bitter sweet. I walked out of two buildings for the last time. Some people I said goodbye to and a lot I did not say anything too. The selfish part of me just wanted to disappear in thin air. I guess that would have been easy...no questions, no answers, no second guessing myself. The day was filled with second guessing though. I was walking away from everything I've ever known. Well, that was dramatic. Not everything I've ever known. I was walking away from a 10 year career that I started when I was 18 years old. It was familiar, predictable, and stable. All I had to do was contact my regional and tell them I had reconsidered and to just put this madness all behind us. Then, I could go home with my laptop, do some work from home, fall asleep, wake up, arrive to work, late as usual, go through some emails, stress out over a meeting, go to meeting, look at more emails...ugh just typing this stresses me out. To say the least it was an emotional day of playing games in my head. 

I wasn't sure that I was doing the right thing. Parts of my brain actually said I was not doing the right thing. :sigh: But, every time I started to think about reconsidering and continuing to come into that building, office, or atmosphere my palms would start to sweat, I would break out in red splotches on my neck and chest, and my heart beat would race. That physical reaction told me enough right there. Although these changes made me uncomfortable I knew I couldn't stay where I was. I couldn't let fear of the unknown keep me in this stage of my life. Speaking of fear. Please take the time to watch this video. https://youtu.be/V80-gPkpH6M This is a speech by Jim Carrey and it will change your thought process. 

"You might fail at something you don't like so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love"

 I will no longer be a victim of fear. 

The picture above is the view in front of me as I was leaving work on the last day. Only looking forward. 

Just a sample of my view in the office. 

Not sure if you can see the quote on this photo of Jeff Bezos. But, it says 'Jeff Bezos in 1999. Next time you want to give up. Think of this.' It is a photo of him sitting at a door desk working with an Amazon.com sign above him which is just spray painted on. I initially kept this photo as a joke or a passive aggressive way to send a message to 'amazon.' Like...yeah, yeah, you had a dream and look what you turned it into. Thank you to the all might Jeff. On my last day as I left the photo in my office I was motivated by this picture. Here is a man that created a billion dollar company from an idea and a dream, he did not take no as an answer, did not let failure keep him down, and never stopped. He did not let fear hold him back. As I am doing now. My dream looks quite different from his but I look up to his ability to stay focused and make his dream come true. It just goes to show me that if you want something bad enough and you put the effort in, you can make almost anything come to fruition. The key is to stay focused, positive, confident, and not to stop. 

The photos below show my first time buying an RV! A 2013 Thor Chateau 24 ft RV! She has 28k miles on her and cost $46,500 (hard to just put that number out there...but I said I would tell the truth!) I purchased a warranty with her, joined The Good Sam's Club and I am still working on Insurance. When it is all said and done my new home is going to end up costing me around $60k this year which includes insurance paid for, any repairs, a dolly for a car, etc. This was the day I signed for her, I wouldn't get her until a week later. 

During this week I cashed out $65,000 of Amazon stock which was delayed getting into my account by 2 days due to President George Bush's death which was declared a day of mourning. The funds were delayed but the banks were still open. This means that the RV company cashed a $28,000 check which caused me to show $26,000 negative in my bank account...you can imagine my surprise the next morning when my debit card wouldn't work and then I logged onto my bank account and almost passed out. I have never overdrawn my bank account in the 13 years I have had my own account! The one time I do overdraw I don't disappoint! Go big or go home. I had my stomach a wreck that day. And for the next couple of days. I called the RV place, Morgan Stanley, PNC, my mother. Now that I look back at it, it's hilarious. But, in the moment I thought the cops were going to knock on my door at any second. Fast forward 2 days and the bank returned the check, put my money back in the account, Morgan Stanley deposited the stocks into my bank account, I gave a new check to the RV place, and all is well. For now. But boy was that an awful feeling! 

Last but not least I had car troubles all week. Which you can hear about in my earlier post titled, 'Shannon the tow truck driver' My Ford Escape spent 3 weeks in the shop only to find out that it would never run and I owed Bill Collins Ford $240 in repairs...for a vehicle that would never run. My 2010 Nissan Maxima also started to act up in the cold weather. For 3 days the car hummed loudly and  the steering wheel would jerk when I was trying to turn. I had my step dad Daniel drive the car one night and he mentioned that it could be the steering pump and to take it into a shop. It shouldn't be that expensive. So, I dropped it off one morning in Shepherdsville, got a ride to work, and received a phone call 2 hours later. It was the steering pump...the pinion and rod, the axel, the bones joist, and the hammerhead. Do you hear the sarcasm? It was a lot of things that totaled up to $1,900. The vehicle was not safe to drive because all of these things affected the steering and if the rod and pinion broke while I was driving it would be a disaster. So, I opted to have everything fixed without a second opinion because I was just so frustrated I just wanted it done and over with. Now, my impatience may have to change over time because I will not always have the extra cash to just conveniently pay for things and not second guess. I will say that I am aware of this and I am trying to change...baby steps people. 

This is the week I will say that I 'sold the house' I received full asking price for the home but I will pay up to $6,000 of closing costs for the buyer. The inspection is complete. I will pay around $1,500 for repairs on the home. Which is not bad at all! The appraiser is coming tomorrow Thursday the 13th. After that we will have a closing date and may be out of the house before Christmas which is crazy! Like, this is really happening. You know when you plan something but the event is so far out that it is hard to imagine that it will really happen? Then, all of the sudden the event is right in front of your face and you are like oh my gosh I have waited so long for this and now it is here...what do I do now? That is how I am feeling. Like am I really getting ready to live in an RV? With 2 Great Danes? Which is still the plan...every time I think about parting ways with them I get intense anxiety and guilt. But, that will have to wait until another entry. 

Let me stop with this. Do not live your life with fear. Live with love and passion. Do not let events described as negative or labeled as failure keep you from moving on or trying again. Let these things teach and empower you. I will also take this advice from myself. :) 

Ostara